


forgives all the wrong that we did

by theoreticlove



Series: shameless and painless and perfect and ageless [4]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen, Good Dad Caranthir, mentions of past character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23327098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoreticlove/pseuds/theoreticlove
Summary: caranthir’s daughter confronts him about his past.fëanorian week, day four: caranthir
Relationships: Caranthir | Morifinwë/Caranthir's Wife
Series: shameless and painless and perfect and ageless [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1673989
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	forgives all the wrong that we did

**Author's Note:**

> partial credit for athea’s character goes to ao3 user aikanaro, we made her up together!

Caranthir’s healing did not begin with any one person. Rather, it came with years of service. He wished to atone, and so he did. For decades turning into centuries, he worked to right his wrongs with all those he had hurt, from the Teleri to Nimloth of Doriath who had slain him. He cleaned, he waited upon, he apologised. Never did he beg forgiveness- he felt it was better earned on its own. 

No longer did he bear titles, or possess great riches as he had in Thargelion. But once he had served all he could, and atoned as best he could, he was simply satisfied to know that many had forgiven him. 

As reward for his work, Eru Iluvatar who saw all granted him the great gift of love. And to their greatest joy, it was not long before Caranthir had married a pretty Noldo girl, who served Nessa and Iluvatar, praying daily to them. Though the woman had never been wronged by Caranthir, her family had, and yet she forgave him without knowing him, for she truly believed that all deserves a second chance to find happiness. 

In time they had four daughters, a great joy to Caranthir and his wife, but also to the house of Fëanor, in which girls had been sorely lacking. The eldest of these was AÞea, in this tongue spelled Athea, named for her great grandmother (her grandfather was most delighted). She danced like her mother, and took after her, though she also carried a passion for linguistics and the preservation of the letter with which she was named (her grandfather was most delighted). 

Athea was a gentle girl, and loved her father dearly all her life. And so it caught Caranthir by surprise when one day, without knowing why, he came face to face with an anger that quite mirrored his own temper. 

“What have I done? Has something happened?” He asked her, concerned. She was young, not quite a teen, and she had never seemed so angry with him before.

“You know what you’ve done!” she cried, and stormed off to her room, slammed the door, and began to sob. 

Frowning, Caranthir turned to Méliel, his second daughter, who had watched this outburst from her father’s arms. He set her down gently, and told her he must talk with her sister. Wide eyed, she nodded, and toddled off, presumably to play with her toys (many of her family members were fine smith, or had the means to commission fine smiths even for trivial things such as toys). 

Caranthir, after ensuring Méliel had not fallen, walked up the stairs to Athea’s room. While normally his temper would have struck, he felt so worried he could not summon it. 

“May I come in, my dearest?” he asked, knocking thrice on her door. 

“Go away!” she called, but her voice cracked and therefore betrayed her, as Caranthir knew now that she was crying. 

Though she had asked him to leave, he felt strongly that, as her father, he ought not to leave her in her misery, and entered her bedroom anyway. 

She lay on her bed, dark curls spilling against pale sheets, facing away from him, curled under the blankets. 

Softly, he sat on the edge of her bed, stroking her hair, his heart breaking when she sniffled. 

“Athea, sweet girl, tell me what’s wrong. I hate to see you upset,” he told her. 

“I said go away.” Her voice was muffled by the pillow she buried her face in. 

“I won’t leave you to cry in your room all by yourself, with no one to console you. Oh, Athea, if I have done you wrong, know I will right it if only you tell me how I have hurt you.” 

She took a shaky breath, but eventually turned to face him.

“I read about you in the history books,” she choked out. 

Caranthir’s hand, still stroking her hair, stopped suddenly.

“Oh.” 

“How could you- how could you kill your own kin? I don’t understand how you could have been so evil!” she sobbed. 

“Oh, Athea, I... I wish I could give you a reason beyond the Oath. But I cannot. I know that you have read terrible things, and they are true of me. But know that I regret nothing more than I do those years when I was cruel and cold, for they brought nothing but misery. And for years and years, before I met your mother, I toiled away trying to right those wrongs, and many of the evils you read of were committed against people I now consider dear friends.” 

“Really?”

“Yes. You know Nimloth of Doriath?”

Athea nodded.

“We slew each other in battle, and I slew many of their kin, also. And yet, we had dinner with them and Dior last week, did we not?” 

“They really forgave you?” 

“Yes, and I am extremely grateful every day for it. And even though not everyone I have wronged has forgiven me, I know that I have done all I can to right the wrongs I have done. I have done my best, and some may come around in time, and some may not. But I can bear that, because I know I have so many people in my life who have forgiven me, and who care for me.” 

Athea, slowly, untangled herself from her blankets and wrapped her arms around her father. He held her close, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

“I still wish you hadn’t done it, even if they have forgiven you,” she mumbled. 

He sighed.

“So do I, my dearest. But I cannot undo the past. I can only try to make things better where I can and look to the future with hope. And how can I not be hopeful, when I have my wonderful daughters, my magnificent wife, and all the rest of my family and friends who love me?” 

“I love you, atto,” she told him.

“I love you too, my sweet girl. So very much.”

And, holding his daughter, Caranthir, perhaps, healed a little, and finally forgave himself, too.

**Author's Note:**

> i hadnt projected onto caranthir in a little while so here! tada!


End file.
